So today is not that bad. Things are pretty blurry still but sooooo much clearer than before the surgery when I wasn’t wearing glasses. I did a little bit of work today, again at a ridiculously huge font, but then my eyes got tired and I came home to close my eyes and listen to an audiobook. There’s a little burning but not much pain, but I notice that I’m much more sensitive to indoor light today than I have been. Weird. Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, I thought I’d upload the video that J- took of the freaky shit they did to my eye. The whole thing took about 5 minutes per eye, and they showed it on a screen in the lobby, which is why he was able to record it on my phone. Do not watch over lunch.
Okay so I can’t seem to upload the file unless I pay money and upgrade. I’m cheap, so you’ll have to be my facebook friend to watch the video.
Today was the best day so far, at least until recently. My vision was clearer than yesterday, and the burning was minimal. I addressed this with copious amounts of the moisturizing drops they gave me. I wI actually managed to go to campus and go to the library. I even did a bit of work, with a ridiculously huge font on my computer screen and a special large square senior citizen reading magnifying glass I bought, but the light eventually bothered my eyes and I cam back home. I still can’t see very well up close. I took the bandage contact out of my right eye as the doc told me yesterday, but my eye had gotten really dry again, and the bloody thing had stuck like glue to my eye. I had a few moments of panic when I thought I wouldn’t be able to get it out, and I ended up basically squeezing my eyeball between my thumb and forefinger to get it out, after which it was a) sore as hell and b) burned like a motherfucker (2 different sensations simultaneously. I now can’t see very well at all, much less than yesterday or even earlier today. I was told that this was normal–it will fluctuate a lot before it stabilizes, or I might be freaked out. Now I can barely see a damn thing, despite how well things were going earlier.
I’ve been listening to audiobooks a lot. I’ve never really listened to audiobooks before, and they’ve been a godsend, but I’m starting to get frustrated. I’ve always been a bookworm. Pretty much my whole life, there is little I’d rather be doing than reading. As a kid, grounding me never worked because I’d just read and be happy as a clam. There has never been a time in my life when I couldn’t read. As I said, the audiobooks are great, but they are slow. I’m used to flying through books, having the characters and scenes and voices and inflections in MY head, as I imagine them, and it is a bit weird to hear them read. It’s also so slow. It’s a bit frustrating (and petulant and childish, I’ll admit), to know that I’d have finished this book twice over if I could just READ it.
Re: working out, I am definitely not in any shape to be back in the gym, even the boring gym doing weights and stuff. I was able to get in a decent core workout in my apartment while listening to my audiobook though.
Last night I was able to watch some tv–True Blood, appropriately, as I felt a bit like a vampire because I had to avoid the light, but tonight everything is so fuzzy that I can’t see the television. So I’m drinking wine, listening to my audiobook, and doing stupid shit like fooling around with different ways to updo my hair when/if I go out to someplace fancy.
Today I had a followup appointment. My wonderful friend G- drove me out to Levittown, and despite a slight detour (because I got lost, surprise, surprise), and they tested my eyes. I was dying to get the bandage contacts off becasue my eyes have been so dry that the contacts had been sticking to my eyeballs and making it feel like there were grains of sand lodged in the corners of my eyes. The doc told me that my corneas are healing beautifully, but that the right one is not healing as fast as the left. So I had to get a new bandage contact in the right eye only, but because it is such a pain in the ass to get out there I could take it out myself the next night before I went to bed. Normally they don’t want you to do it yourself. So the left one came out and I got another on my right eye. The rest of the day my left eye burned like fire while the right felt pretty good. My vision was still blurry, but worse in my left eye was worse. My vision as a while was worse than the day before.
Firt forgive typos. I’ve increased my font to a ridiculous size, but everything is still quite fuzzy. The third day was better. Much better. I was seeing fairly well–it was a little weird not to be able to see better up close than at a distance, because I’ve always been able to see just fine up close, but I could definiitely see better without glasses then than I could without glasses before the surgery. I ventured outside my apartment, and had a lovely lunch at Mixto with my boyfriend, and we had taken a walk down to Old City. I was a bit sensitive to light, but kept my dark glasses on the whole time. I was doing quite well until I got caught in the thunderstorm, and rain sluiced in from the side behind my glasses, and flooded my left eye. WORLD OF PAIN. I made the rest of the way to my apartment with my eyes covered, the right one barely slitted enough to see the ground two feet in front of me. I spent the next few hours lying on my back in agony unable to open my eyes.
Pride goeth before a fall. Yesterday wasn’t too bad, but I woke up this morning unable to open my eyes. It was a struggle to get in all the various prescription drops, and even though I’ve been all but pouring in the soothing saline drops they gave me for between medicating times, it feels like I’ve upended a bottle of soap and poured it into both eyes. You know how your eyes burn and itch and are on fire, and you just want to flush them out with water for as long as you can take it and rub them until it stops itching? Well, I can’t do any of that. All I can manage is to sit here with the lights off, my eyes closed, and an audio book on. In fact, this is killing me and I’m getting off the computer now. Peace out.
*Addendum: For some fool reason, I thought that it would be a good idea for me to chop an onion. Onions make you cry, and tears irrigate, right? OMG NO. Holy shit. Take what I said above, and magnify it by 10.
Addendum–the afternoon has not gone as well as the morning–please forgive any typos; I’m finding it harder to see.
My eyes have been burning a lot, adn things are mych fuzzier than they were earlier. I went to the doctor for my followup, and he said everything looks good. On my tet, I was seeing 20/30, as opposed to 20/200 before. I have always been a bit unclear as to what that meant, so I looked it up. There is something called a Snellan chart, which measures what a person with perfect vision can see at 20 feet. So if you’re 20/20, you see perfectly, When the second number increases, that means that you see at that number what a normally vision-ed person sees at 20 feet. For example, if you’re 20/40, which is the legal limit for driving without corrective vision, you see at 20 feet what a normal person can see at 40 feet. In my case, I could see at 20 feet what a normal person could see at 200 feet, which makes me legally blind as far as the DMV is concerned. So 20/30 is pretty effin’ good.
But I overstrained my eyes today, I think. There’s a lot of burning and pain, and my vision is a lot blurrier than it was thins morning, and at the moment I’m much happier when my eyes are closed. This is normal for the PRK though. The doc said everything looked good, and that I could expect a lot of fluctuation like this for the next few days or even weeks. I came home and fell asleep listening to an audio book and curled up with a kitty.
Regarding working out, which was the main motivation for this blog, I don’t think I’m up to much. I’m going to do some planks and other core work and maybe squats or pushups tonight, but I think that is my limit. Definitely not in fighting shape.
Okay, going back to my audio book now, and closing my eyes except as necessary to pick up the glass of wine I am drinking without spilling it.
Yesterday was the big day. They did all sorts of tests on my eyes, then gave us blue caps and booties and sent us back to the lobby to wait. We developed a sort of camaraderie and chatted while we read Highlights and watched the big screen tv where they showed whatever surgery was being performed in real time. It was awesome and terrifying at the same time, but none of us could look away. No one before me did PRK, but let me tell you, LASIK looks freaky. I made J- promise to record the whole thing on my phone. I haven’t yet checked out this footage. When it was my turn, they took me, gave me anesthetic drops in and put an eyeball speculum on me so that I couldn’t blink. I half expected them to present me with a screen filled with violent images and provide electrical shocks while playing classical music.
The worst part was actually not the speculum or even the laser, even though I could smell the burning away of the top layer of my cornea. The worst part was the ice cold liquid they flushed my eyes with after they were done. It freaking hurt despite whatever they had done to numb me. Then they put in bandage contacts, which I am to wear for the next 4 days, and sent me home with three different types of eyedrops and a painkiller. They then assured me that the next week or so would suck balls. I was warned that I would feel like there was sand in my eyes, I’d be sensitive to light, and I should take lots of naps and keep my eyes closed for the next three hours. So I doped myself up on Clonapin and took a 12 hour nap. I have a followup appointment this afternoon so they can make sure they didn’t fuck up anything.
My eyes burn a bit, and things are sometimes in focus and sometimes not. Sometimes I can see clearly things I certainly couldn’t have seen sans glasses yesterday, and sometimes it gets blurred again. I’m not in nearly the pain they told me I would be in. The freakiest thing is actually the dizzy spells from seeing double occasionally, but I can deal with that. I should actually probably stop typing, because I am getting a bit of eye fatigue. But so far things are not at all as bad as they were advertised.